Looking into a Highschooler's perspective

I have a problem, I can’t stop worrying about other people’s problems. I just can’t stop for some reason. Its so hard to balance your problems out with others. My empathy has gone to the furthest level where now its crossing the line. My friends tend to tell me all their problems and that’s fine. It’s just somethings that are really…difficult to listen to.

Know what I can’t stand? Well, When someone puts on a charade. Stuff like “Oh Hey! I like myself, Love May I say? Well I won’t change” Then the same person says ” My friends are leaving me, I hate myself , I’m worthless, No one should be my friend” . Well think about it, You think all that and your ready to get on your knees and whipe the floor with your dignity just to get someone back? A friend? a lover? What is this? Seriously? Are you really going to shut out your self-esteem because people are leaving you?

You’re going to be submissive? No No..This my friends is what I used to be like. Maybe not as harsh, or maybe. Seriously, when you think like that so do others. So please…I just can’t handle when people adjust who they are by people’s opinons. They lower themselves ..because of what others say. Why would you do that?

People would love to see you drown yourself in self pity, They would love to add  to it. Why are you making it so hard. Know what I learned? Good friends stay with you. When I went through this phase, All I had was my bestfriend. She really really..helped me and now believe it or not I’ve never been so strong.

I’d like to be that type of person for someone, but I don’t wish to be dragged down again

Anyways,  I haven’t blogged in a while and I felt a need to do it this time.

It’s been a  really long time talking to my friend. We stop being friends for a while for  a reason. Things don’t always work out t he way you planned. You think one thing and something else happens. Things are really confusing. To me its like you can’t figure out everything. There always isn’t a reason behind it its just there. I guess my rambling on and on about negativity won’t help anyone  understand what I’m saying. I  mean when you lose a friend you have no hope of them coming back under any circumstances; however to your surprise they do come back. They re-enter your  life because maybe they actually serve a purpose in your life. Well my friend came back into my life. I thought this person would erase my number and..me out of their life. It didn’t work out that way. I called my friend today just for no reason. It’s been a while. I closed the phone because I couldn’t do it. For some reason  I’m afraid of my friend. Anyways, my friend messaged me saying that ..they knew I called , they had my phone number just incase something happened to me. So In the  end the person oddly still cares.  Friends come and go, and some come  back into your life. They might even still worry about you.  I’m still really confused, but I’ll figure it out.  

Today is just really bland, lets go with that. Everything has become very stressful, and I have no time for fun. I kind of wish I could leave the place I live in and run off to some random city and just explore. There’s just so much fun in new things and new people. I love getting to know people. There are so many questions you can ask them, its just amazing. Just like in a new city there are so many sights to see and places to go and things to explore. Its a clean slate. You know nothing and thats the best part of it. I miss being a kid, you know where your not afraid to explore and use your imagination. Your mind is set free, no limits no boundaries. I don’t know things have really changed though. Kids aren’t kids anymore, Parents aren’t really parents..More like teenagers trying to be parents because of what they’ve done.

That goes into sex, I don’t have a problem with it actually. I guess its the timing and the consequences that are attached to it. It’s like signing a contract with someone. A lot of people at my school tend to talk about it a lot and I dont know, for some reason it just makes me feel weird. Have you ever been a person who’s just completly..clueless? Well That’s me in a way. I don’t get all the jokes people make or even things they could be thinking.

Another thing thats a bother is being USED .  Some people are way to co-depandant..on others. I would know . There’s a girl I know whose only happy when a boy likes her or when she has friends. She’s always telling me, I don’t mind listening, but its pointless. Why can’t a person be happy without those things. I know friends are important , but really..why do you have to get all depressed when they came and go.

Two words that bother me “Fat” and “Ugly” They have been overused. They go together apparently, in our shallow world… we see that fat people are ugly people.. I don’t agree with that; however, I’m just one person. Its stupid, people assume your ugly when they see that you have a little meat on you.

Anyways, All this just came crashing down into my mind, Now time to go do more work. Bah Homework should be banished from the face of the earth.

One question. What do you do when you have nothing to do? What if you have a few ideas of what could keep you occupied, but you’re too lazy to do it. Do people revert to bad things when their bored? I don’t know about that, but I don’t find joy in being a super rebellion teenager it just lets me live up to what people falsely see of teenagers. Sometimes I do wish to just have no strings attached and just to be set free. I’m addicted to freedom maybe its my choice of drug. Who knows ? I lack excitment in my life if only I had other alternatives. Life really is a rollercoaster unless you live it the same way everyday. I don’t think anyone would want to try that. You shouldn’t always play it safe or hide under a rock and be risk and challenge free. Okay back to being bored. Would one rather be bored or have an overload  of things to do? I don’t know for me i wish it was an overload of things to do. I want to be on the other side of the fence for once. Anyways its all up to what you think and what you go through. Don’t be bored! Be full of spirit and color ! Like the skittles rainbow XD

Lots of times within our lives we experience many spontenous things. Honeslty sometimes it can be so out of the blue its almost scarey. Like for instance, My uncle ran into glass today because of these dogs that were chasing him (Yes he’s afraid of dogs, who isn’t?) . You don’t hear or see that happening a lot now do you? You go out for a smoke on mild winter day, the beautiful moon is out and the neighbor’s garage opens and out come the dogs. “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT”?! haha anyways that’s pretty odd. Thankfully one gets lucky and has of few cuts and bruises, but hey that’s not always the case.  Don’t you hate it when people don’t accept responsibility for their own fault. They just cower away from it, and lie. Silly aint it. The lady said she had no dog and was striken with fear that we may call the police. Well we people aren’t like that. Anyways something else you don’t see a lot is a banana with a condom on it. Yes I’m serious. The wonders of people’s creations now a days. Now the euphomisim given towards bananas is actually true.

Who knows what else will come crashing through our window or seen while walking by.

Ever see those couples who just stay with eachother to deter each other from being lonely? Yeah I’ve seen them way too much. They can hate one another but they’ll only stay so no one can attack their integrity by saying “Hey you have no one”.

Well not true don’t fill your void with someone that isnt worth being there. Sure you can force  yourself to love this person, but natural love is something amazing. And hey whoever makes fun of you for being single needs to back off anyway. Whats wrong with that? I mean why do we teenagers kill to have a boyfriend/girlfriend or something.

Unless you want love don’t push yourself towards it just to fit in. I myself have been pressured to think such things, but you know once something hits you right on the smack of your face you totally get it. You’re like yeah , I’m not taking your bullshit. Love? Love is something amazing regardless if you’ve felt it or not. People who tend to lose it which is almost everyone hate it temporarily , but I say don’t . Love is within our relationships friendships . So why hate it? Its not just couple love! I’m tired of people giving up on love just because they had a bad experience. Don’t! Anyways once again this is all from my point of view =). Don’t get all defensive if you’re a pure pessmistic person. Think however you wish to!

Most the times when you see something truly hard to surpass in your life you try your best to just get as far away from it as possible. For me thats school most the times mainly because of friends and the workload. Its my fault for leaving it all to the last second. It gets overwhelming and all I want to do is just stay in bed and sleep. What if we didn’t do those things? Things would be a lot easier. Something I don’t get is why people skip class. Pick one thing. School or your friends. If so both then do both of them in the right way. Don’t just go with one and forget the other. You can’t do that. Others forget to have fun like me, and thats the worst thing you can do. You’re just mindlessly consuming knowledge without seeing the joy in it. Or Your trying to get to your goal to fast without enjoying each step you take to approach it. Anyways, skipping class is stupid, unless you have a good reason for it, but really who does? Its just temporary fun. School is important to me regardless if I have a career or not. I wouldn’t mind being someone at home. Least I’d know I fought through it all. If my arms and legs were to not work. I’d still have my knowledgeable mind. Anyways those are my thoughts for today. One may disagree and I respect that. Think however you wish to.